Seriously, next time it rains, kick your feet up and enjoy the show because at least one person will take a tumble. Do poll dance for as long as the music plays, with an imaginary poll. Juicy embarrassing secrets!!!? One second you’re running, the next you look down and you’re further back then anticipated. Sunday morning. Who knew she had it in her! by Keely Flaherty. Jump into a trash can outside your house. I even dressed up as a bottle of it for Halloween. Get within 100 yards of the house, and I am contemplating running between a couple of houses and just letting go. 10. But in the library? Sex is messy and complicated in the best way. “Bluetooth headphones connected to my iphone on. A few blocks from the house I could hold on no more, and little squirts of molten lava started seeping out of me. I quickly tried to restart the computer, but that didn’t work (WTF?). I had to get on all fours, like a dog, and use a plastic spoon to dissect my own shit and then store it in the little cups. I didn’t know what to do so I just wiped, ran out and hoped the janitor wasn’t too angry.”. Pull down the pants. Broke me up laughing.”. Due to how I am forced to stand, and the pressure of my stomach cramps, I know that I am going to have a poop eruption. Sorry Trevor’s dad.”. I was covered in gravel, and everyone in the park saw. The worst part- I was in the middle seat. 23. Oops." November 19, 2020 - 13:13 GMT . One in a million. Like, we’re not talking a purple color with a tint of green. Relevance. He’s grabbing his ass as he runs, I’m 20 feet behind ralphing everywhere. Almost back home and my friend is urging me to walk faster because he’s going to shit himself and out of nowhere I start barfing. Hannah Hargrave The … Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page. Answer Save. 15 Answers. Plan B: Wipe with paper towels. I don’t have an official statistic, but this has to occur like, 94% of the time at store entryways. !”, Then my cousin proceeded to tell the whole family that she finally heard me fart for the first time ever.”, 22. —Jessica W., 31, stylist, Los Angeles, California, 10. 21 Embarrassing Secrets Every '90s Kid Had. I sloshed the contents of the cup everywhere and then laughed until I couldn’t breathe.”, 7. By Jelani Addams Rosa. I opened the door and left the bathroom with a feeling of total disgust. To get it into the house I put it in the front of my pants and tightened my belt. I leaned against it and let my body breathe. I became aroused when applying my ointment, and popped all of my blisters with the erection”, 8. Learn more about working with Thought Catalog. Funny german memes - Der absolute Vergleichssieger . “I currently have poison oak all over my genitals ( had too pee on a hike, must have transferred the oil during aiming). I farted and the string jumped. I jumped in the bath ( we didn’t even have a shower) and started washing them off, though they wouldn’t budge and the water seemed to make them bite harder. He gave it to my mother as silly fake jewelry. “I gave an impromptu speech to my two best friends at their graduation party in front of about fifty people. The first dream it happened I woke up laughing. And how few of those have parking lots big enough to easily accommodate a school bus. “My mom got home as I was in the middle of a furious fap session. 16. Now the fun begins. No problem! We hadn’t seen each other in a couple of weeks so, even though we couldn’t have sex because it was the middle of the day and everybody was up, we got…handsy…with each other. Being lunchtime, I decided to grab some nachos. As we snaked our way through NYC traffic in a cab, I could feel a rumble in the jungle, a hot pain in my gut, I started to sweat. Has anyone in your family been diagnosed with HS or experienced HS symptoms? Spilling your alcoholic beverage whether in a bar or at a friend’s home. I just walk out, tell my mate I’ve got to go home, and proceed to waddle the 1.5 miles home trying to stay far enough away from people that they won’t notice the brown streak/smell/steam. It was this one time in my car every day. “I once took a class trip to Germany in the summer after freshman year. My trying to hold back only ended up making it worse, and in that silent church, in front of all those grieving family members and friends, I expelled the loudest fart mankind has ever known. Some will make you feel awkward, some will creep you out, and some will crack you up. Entering the bus I felt a weird cold feeling in my stomach. I was in excruciating pain, but for some reason, I convinced myself I could make it home. I start to the squat descent, and feel leakage. I began questioning it’s sanctity as I was walking my dog. 4. It was not for the faint of heart. They don't know." —Lindsay P., 27, 14. “Well, I’m a 17-year-old. All of us once got into some situations that were not so pleasant, but these girls also had the misfortune to be photographed in these very awkward situations. Oh, time for porn. What can I say, it was a great bed!" I just realized the other day it was a cup. And I told them this. It was like a grenade had gone off in my vagina. I threw up 5 times in under a minute at a mild jog with people gasping in their cars as they watch me. I actually ended up getting home, cleaning myself up and having a bath, got changed and went back out but I couldn’t really salvage the evening.”. They’re going to happen to you and me and everyone else now and again. Be it through a video uploaded on Youtube or a simple status update on Facebook, your goof would leave an indelible mark on your otherwise untarnished reputation. I waited until I was alone, then gave a massive shart. 6 min read. I don’t want you on my bus.” F-you, buddy. We hope you'll enjoy in these funny pictures. Barely decide to carry on. Finally, when I could actually see the hotel, i gave out. !” This is one of the more epic picture in this gallery. 31.0m members in the AskReddit community. Artist: Jung, Norman. I get into the house, get to the bathroom, put my back to the toilet, rip my pants down and proceed to give the toilet and the wall behind it a nice new coating of what can only be described in the physical realm as “pure evil.” As I sat there trembling and crying in pain, my kids were outside the bathroom yelling “Are you all right dad?”…”Need us to come in and help you dad?”…yes, they are spawns of Satan himself. When we get home, I get out of the car into a standing position and it happens. I then had to stand up, turn around, and then push the limits of my sanity further. So I’m in the tree stand and I decide to start watching some porn. Well now that I’ve talked about it I won’t ever dream about it.”, 17. You may unsubscribe at any time. “I was about 10 or 11, my friend’s dad had just passed away from a sudden heart attack and I was at his wake in a church with about 300 other people. My stomach is upset from overindulging on eggnog the night before, but I’m doing okay. I stumbled upon said shit in the peanut butter while trying to make a sandwich, probably DAYS after the initial dump took place. Anonymous. After talking to the sales rep, he offers to size me on a Madone 3.1. Then I went out to find a McDonalds and took my undies off, threw it in the trash, wiped, called in sick at work and took a cab home. I tried so hard to pull it out but it simply wouldn’t budge. First, I took him the wrong way on a one-way bike path. We all have plenty of embarrassing stories. I asked if I could use the men’s room, this one guy started to say “no” but then his face kinda just went neutral as he saw the desperation in my eyes. Did that bit where you clench your teeth and screw your eyes up as you get ready to let loose something major, and away I went. Either way people are going to cry “party foul,” and make a spectacle of your clumsiness. However it is a relief to know that our reaction speed isn’t too shabby. I had spent a long night drinking more booze than I thought was possible for a single human being to drink. I looked down and grunted; my socks were still relatively clean where I hadn’t shat upon them, and were the only thing I could resort to without going out of that toilet shirtless. That’s right, I shat on the floor. 15 People Reveal Their Most Embarrassing Moments, 11 of Cosmo Readers' Most Steamy and Embarrassing Confessions Ever, 16 People Reveal Their Babysitting Secrets, 10 Guys Reveal Their Most Embarrassing Sex Story, 15 Twentysomethings Reveal Their Craziest College Hookup Stories, 16 People Reveal Their Most Absurd Confessions. 10. Yup, we're all guilty. —Bijan S., 24, writer, Tyler, Texas, 8. “Not too long ago actually I had to collect a stool sample for a medical appointment. I get back behind the wheel, exhausted, with my butt on absolute fire, and begin the trek home. —Caylee P., 25. So we do the sizing, which takes about 30 minutes, and though I agree with him that it feels wonderful, I insist that I cannot afford a $3,000 bike on a PhD student’s salary. It was going just fine… until I tried to take it out. 22. BuzzFeed Staff. I have no desire to stick batteries up there so I don’t know why I keep dreaming about it. Out of nowhere and with no warning I just eject a stream of hot liquid shit all down the back of my legs. That kind of cup. i must have head 8 or 9 cups of it. Last week, my friend and I wanted some booze. However, some of them cam blame only themselves for these embarrassing photos. 8. Share this via Facebook; These photos could not have been taken at a more perfect time. Fast forward to when I was 20. I laid the sheet of paper in front of the toilet, gripped the lid for dear life, squatted down, and did my business. With the pressure I feel in my lower abdomen that it will be a very quick affair. I tried the best I could, and actually held out most of the way. 2. It was then I realized what I would go through to see a naked lady.”. Pair these awesomely embarrassing questions with these 100+ embarrassing dares! Nope. 1. I used the hottest water I could stand and scrubbed for a few minutes without soap before returning to my seat, my friends none the wiser. Click here. At the time, my friends all knew, but today I try to keep that one hidden at all times.”, 9. Nothing on the shoes, either, thanks to the buffer that the socks had created between them and the source of the brown jelly streaming down my legs. —Sarah B., 27, art director, Gold Coast, Australia, 2. Before I busted the lid there was no hint of bad smell, but after a small twist it was as if I’d unleashed the Pandora’s box of shitty smell. I finished the nachos and all in all, I would say that I probably consumed six to seven complete jalapenos by the time I was done. —Michelle I., 21, fashion publicist, Alpine, New Jersey, 7. Fire Ants had built a nest and now a whole colony was attacking my dick, balls and whole general area. Is he going to make me clean it? Perfect! It was because my Mom was having a massage at this calm, quiet private retreat and I knew that whatever was coming out of me was not going to smell good so I didn’t want to go inside the main hut and use the bathroom, only to sit there in shame for the next hour. I discovered some potentially embarrassing things about my teacher." My bad!" Pokemon Go: The Ultimate Guide to Pokemon Go Secrets (Android, iOS, Secrets, Tips, Tricks, Hints) (English Edition) Allen, I: VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes Welche Kauffaktoren es bei dem Bestellen Ihres Funny german memes zu beachten gilt I had to throw up. What time is it? I was visiting home and my boyfriend had just showed up. A good, drunken time was had by all, and I happily barfed on the floor before being dragged to my hotel room and tossed in to bed by concerned partygoers at 4 in the morning. ‎Each week Alfie Deyes sits down with celebrity guests to chat through the most embarrassing, hilarious and down-right-weird secrets that have been anonymously submitted from those that follow him online. 13. It’s one thing to do something embarrassing in private and quite another to do it in public. 1 decade ago. Going to the wrong classroom and sitting there for a lengthy period of time before realizing that the topics of discussion don’t fit and now you’ll look like a bad-mannered student, exiting class just as it began. 21. As one last, big “fuck you” to my sense of well-being, it turned out that there was no soap in this bathroom, either, and I briefly wondered how the employees cleaned up after touching their dicks. …..I did the only thing I could think of. This compilation of embarrassing moments shared on BoredPanda … Imagine living with the cast of Jackass, that’s essentially what you’re looking at. See more ideas about Embarrassing moments, Bones funny, Funny pictures. Accidentally “liking” a Facebook status or double tapping an Instagram image. I get up, go back inside, take a shower and get in my pajamas. So when a ninja runner sneaks up on you and you catch a glimpse of them in your peripherals at the very last second, our natural reaction is to jump in fear – maybe even strike a karate-esque pose. The doctor gave me really little bottles to collect the samples in. Then he turned around, and I realized he was actually a girl. “A few days ago I tried the Instead Softcup for giggles (you insert it and it catches your menstrual blood). Tell everyone an embarrassing story about yourself. —Michelle W., 21, 9. The best I could do in the toilet was wash my hands before departing and finish my breakfast. There’s no escaping them. Anyways, so apparently one of them thought it would be funny to shit in my peanut butter, seal it, and just leave it to be found another day. It’s a mystery to everyone to this very day. Ready, aim… He shoots, he scores! And my fellow students were dumb. When to bus entered the station, I need to take a crap so hard, I am sweating like a pig. I stopped, and tried to collect myself, but it was too late. I was scared the entire time that she knew. Respectfully, I had been holding in my gas until I could get outside. So I stuff myself with food and we leave. 50 yards away, huge cramp and an urgent need to purge. My favorite with Carla. Because of them, truth or dare is not only one of the most popular ice breaker games for adults, but it is also among the best things to do when bored. 13 embarrassing funny dares. 48 People Share The Darkest, Most Mind-Blowing Secret They Know About Someone But Can Never Tell, Until Now 6 Harsh Things You Should Know About Becoming A Snooping Girlfriend 36 Of The Most Horrifying And Disgusting Bad Roommate Stories Ever 10. HOLY MOTHER OF ZEUS. “I asked a girl from school out once. We were only about 4 blocks from our hotel and I just let out a yell. Accidentally mentioning something to someone that was never actually told to you, but was discovered via your lurking social networks. He looked at the computer, looked at me, just shook his head and said: “It’s always the quiet ones,” and then walked away. Answer Save. No paper towels, either? OMG. Because I was a hero. It’s easy to empathize with the people below for what they’ve gone through (perhaps especially the menstruation-related events). I felt this horrible burning while running home on my crotch area but the urge to see naked ladies and my fear of getting caught kept me from showing the insane pain I was starting to feel as I ran in and saw my mom. Bones funny, funny pictures how I kept my cool in front of my,. World 's largest on-line collection of cartoons and comics Admit to it ''! Hot liquid shit all down the street to the sales rep – he doesn ’ get... Own sperm. ”, 8 story that actually happened to you, but didn! Instead Softcup for giggles ( you insert it and it nearly took me to my two best friends their. Commission from links on this page, but it 's always important talk. 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Mall and got a horrible case of morning sickness that didn ’ t experienced any kind of Gross, I! On for dear life as I headed to the toilet and guess what…it was a kid I pregnant.!